Are You Making these Networking Mistakes?

If you really want to find out how to lose friends and alienate people, just interact with a rookie online networker – chances are you won’t struggle to find one who’s got the art  down to a pat.

Just a week before, I was contacted online by a lady from Glasgow. She added me as a friend in Facebook. I accepted. She sent me a message asking what I did for a living (if she cared to read my profile she would have known). Probably because of my looks, she assumed I was located somewhere in Asia and so started to sell me a MLM opportunity in Asia.

Red flag.

Nevertheless, I took some time to look at her profile, click on her links, read up on her interests. I replied and told her about myself, mentioned our common interests, informed her that I was in UK and NOT Asia, and then I mentioned my reason for not choosing to join her group at this time. I was very candid and I stated genuine reasons (Her business opportunity didn’t sit right with my gut feeling and it required a $3,600 investment to join plus ongoing monthly fees.)

She replied again with a curt message asking for my email address so she could send me the information about the business opportunity available in Europe. Did she even read my email? Didn’t look like it.

Nevertheless, I replied and reiterated what I said previously and wished her good luck.

She never bothered replying.

A day later she sent me another message saying exactly the same thing as the first sales message I received from her.  Maybe she didn’t even remember that we had exchanged emails in less than 24 hours. (Ok, now I feel special!)

A few hours later I got another friend invitation from another lady who had her own online business. Over the course of 3 hours after accepting her invitation, I received over 5 sales letters and marketing materials – all trying to get me to buy from her.

Are you making the same mistakes? Take out your pen and see how many of these mistakes you’re guilty of making:

Mistake # 1.  Looking at me with $$$ signs on your eyes.

You ask about me and what I do NOT because you’re genuinely interested to get to know me but because you’re trying to see if you can make me buy whatever it is you’re peddling.

To you, I’m just one of many prospects you could possibly recruit or sell to or manipulate into buying your product, regardless whether I will truly benefit from it or not.

Have you ever considered the possiblity that maybe it would make our interaction a lot more meaningful (and pleasurable) if you saw me as a person? You see, just like everybody else, I really am just a normal human being who has an ego, needs, wants, specific interests, problems, dreams, wishes, desires, and feelings. Can we not just quit the sales hype and start from there?

Mistake # 2: Trying to get me interested by focusing on YOUR interests, instead of appealing to MINE.

Everything you say and do are centred around what YOU want and what YOU think, or what your company or products offer, and yet you expect ME to pay attention to what you’re saying?

Why?

What’s in it for me?

If you talk in terms of MY concerns, don’t you think I’ll pay more attention?

Mistake # 3: Regardless of my answer to “Who are you and what do you do?”, you then proceed and do your sales spiel right away

You sell to me without even caring enough to take some time to first find out anything about me. You know, things like what are my most pressing problems right now?

Or what my interests are?

Or how my own business is doing, and what challenges I am facing?

Or what would likely motivate me to do something?

Or what goals am I trying to reach right now and how could you possibly help?

Do I even really need what you’re selling? Do I even have anything to gain from buying your stuff?

I don’t even really know you that much – why would I believe you?

Mistake # 3:  Sell, sell, sell. Tell, tell, tell.

You don’t ask me many questions because you’re so busy telling me how great you are or how great your business opportunity is or how your company had been trading even before the Chinese invented the dildo.

You tell me things without seeking to engage me in a genuine, meaningful interaction, and yet you expect me to just buy from you right away?

Getouttahere.

Mistake #4:  You’re focusing on closing a sale quick, instead of opening a relationship

You persuade me to buy even if you damn well know it’s not for me and I dont have any need for it at this point in time. All you care about is your commission, you dont care about me.

I know this because as soon as I said it’s not for me or I’m putting it in the backburner, you leave and I never hear from you again.

You forget that my needs may change after a while, or I may be able to refer you to other people whom I know may be interested or whom I know may have a need for what you’re offering. But I wouldn’t introduce you to my network of friends, colleagues and customers after the way you have treat me, would I?

You see only the short term, not the long-term. If you cared enough to connect with me and showed how you really wanted to contribute to the quality of my life, you would have won over my trust and I would have gladly and actively worked with you to help you reach your goals.

Mistake # 5:  Pretension, Manipulation and Deception

You sugarcoat and hide certain facts about your offer, you lie, you make up stories just to impress me and get me to do what you want, you give me fake testimonials and make exaggerated claims about your business opportunity or product.

Even if you suceeded in making me buy once, do you really think I would buy from you again?

Wouldn’t it work better for all of us if you just stick to what really works?

Here’s Jeffrey Gitomer, a world-reknowned sales trainer, telling you that it’s time to QUIT SELLING:

Conclusion

Many network marketers have forgotten that what they really need to do in order to build their business is build solid and genuine relationships. Instead, they have turned into salespeople.

And that’s the problem.

The act of selling had come to be associated with many derogatory words like ‘scam’, ‘manipulation’, ‘greedy’, ‘pushy’, ‘hard sell’, etc.

And it’s not difficult to figure out why. Many people had been taught the wrong things about how to sell. Many sales training programmes are guilty of being all hyped up. They teach you things like ’30 ways to Close the Sale’ which may well had been entitled ’30 Ways to Annoy and Insult the Intelligence of Your Prospects’.

But selling need not be a painful experience for anyone.

The way to get round this stigma is to NOT sell because people don’t like it. As soon as people detect you are trying to sell them something, they put up their defenses.

So forget about selling. Forget about YOU, forget about your product or your service or your commission.

It’s human nature for them to not care about you until they feel you care about them, so get used to it.

Instead, focus completely on the person you’re interacting with. Recognize them for who they really are, and see yourself as the person who is sincere in helping them make their lives easier, happier and better.

Ask them questions. Be genuinely interested in helping them have a happier, better, easier life.

Find out what their problems are. What keeps them up at night?

And how could you or someone you know could possibly help them solve their problems?

Find out what they are interested in, what their goals are.

How could you possibly help achieve their goals?

You will never succeed in Networking or business until your mindset make this important shift.

Don’t sell – just offer them the best solutions you know.

Don’t sell – just build beneficial relationships.

Don’t sell – just focus on helping others get what they really want.

Don’t sell, and people will buy from you!

Related posts:

1. Are You Making these Startup Business Mistakes?