5 Things About Life That I Wish My Parents Taught Me
By Marj Galangco | Published: 14 May, 2009 Page viewed 2337 times
I feel that as a child I didn’t receive much guidance from my parents about anything, and the other adults in my life who did give me guidance actually just ended up conditioning me to believe things that limited my potential.
Fortunately, these are the very things that showed me what mistakes to avoid someday when I become a parent myself.
Success to me do not pertain to material abundance alone, but rather it is more of a process of growth, or of developing that state of awareness where we have both inner and outer fulfilment – where we are actively pursuing to realize our fullest potentials and become physically healthy, materially blessed, and fulfilled in every way: spiritually, mentally, socially and emotionally.
So here are the things I wish my parents had taught me about life and what it really takes to succeed. I hope that someday my kids will not feel the need to say the same things
1. Who I am has nothing to do with the amount of stuff I accumulate.
For years I believed that the things I acquired utimately defined my worth as a person. Therefore the more I had, the more superior I was over others.
To a sick mind, that sounds pretty logical.
Why do we do this? Why do we allow ourselves to believe that our worth is determined by “things” that come and go, things that eventually perish?
Source: http://www.sxc.hu
Why do we allow ourselves to believe that our essence, our value, our core identity are somehow related to the amount of objects we hoard or the label of clothes we wear or the car we drive or the size of our house?
One of the greatest breakthroughs I’ve had was when I realised that I have intrinsic value; that I am worthy and loveable just as I am, regardless. That the mistakes I make, the labels I’m branded with, the things I buy and wear and drive ultimately have nothing to do with the essence of who I am, and that none of these things make me either inferior or superior compared to everyone else.
“Those who have not found their true wealth, which is the radiant joy of Being and the deep, unshakeable peace that comes with it, are beggars, even if they have great material wealth. They are loooking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love, while they have a treasure within that not only includes all those things but is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
2. Let your work be a joyful Service that you offer to the world wholeheartedly, generously and passionately, and you will be rewarded many times over.
I used to think a job is something I had to do in order to earn money to be able to then do the things I really loved. That’s what I allowed myself to believe when I was growing up. In my mind I simply had to be rich by going after the jobs that paid the most. It didn’t occur to me early enough that it was OK to pursue what I liked or to give myself the permission to go after the things that truly made me feel alive.
In my world back then, work was something you hated but you just did it anyway. It didn’t occur to me until several years later that I could choose to experience differently. Soon I realized that trading 40+ hours of my time per week purely for money and doing things I wasn’t really excited about was disempowering, belittling and absolutely insane.
Time is far too precious to waste doing things that kills your Spirit, don’t you think?
I hope that one day I’ll be able to show my kids that the only endeavors worth their time are those things that excite them enough to be their magnificent obsessions, so to speak – and the only way to get richly rewarded for doing these is by doing them in a way that creatively serve the world and enrich other people’s lives.
Source: http://www.sxc.hu
3. “The world needs and desires something that you can uniquely fulfill!”
I am convinced that the greatest inadequacy of most educational systems is that we teach our kids what to think rather than teach them how to think for themselves.
As a child I’d been told to blend in; to blindly follow the majority; to never question authority figures; to be more like so and so; to look, act, speak and feel a specific way about certain things.
I wasn’t taught how to effectively discover answers for myself and I think I could have prevented a lot of heartaches and wasted energy had I figured out how to do this earlier.
I think it’s vital that we learn how to uncover our own uniqueness and strengths, to fully experience and discover who we are, and to be perfectly happy with that.
Still, I feel no regrets because it was actually interesting how I had to figure out what I really liked to do, what my true passions were, what my real desires were, who I really wanted to be, what purpose I chose to fulfil. Anyhow, regardless of how well we’d been brought up, we each have our own path or our own way of learning how to evaluate our choices, make decisions and learn how to live with the consequences of our actions.
It’s important to encourage ourselves to think outside the box and be creative with our choices, because sometimes the highest choice may mean going against the norm. I learned that sometimes it’s best to let go of “shoulds”, “should nots” and “supposed to’s”, and to do away with labels and concepts and just welcome the moment as it is.
I believe that a big part of attaining success is discovering who are, and how we can best utilize our individuality to creatively fulfill a need, solve a problem, and serve the world.
“Your greatest contribution to the creation of a better world is the creation of a better YOU.” ~Marianne Williamson
4. There is nothing wrong with striving to be my Best, Brightest, Biggest and Most Magnificent Self. Manifesting my Highest Potentials is what I am meant to do.
When I was a child up until my teens I was scrawny, awkward, and fashionably challenged. I was unattractive to the extent that I felt invisible. In an effort to get noticed, I strove to excel academically. When I hit my teens I committed myself to a diet and fitness program that improved my physique. It was only when I hit my 20′s that people started to notice me.
Suddenly I had everything. I was clever, healthy, fit, beautiful, happy, materially blessed, and popular.
But somehow it felt wrong because everywhere I went and in almost every single place where I worked, there was ALWAYS at least one person who disliked me or secretly undermined me for reasons I never found out.
Somewhere along the way I somehow concluded that I was NOT meant to have everything, that it was wrong to be step up and continually improve yourself because it made others feel bad.
So I shrank back. Come to think of it, it was probably then that my vicious habit of self-sabotage started.
Breaking out of my tendencies to self-sabotage is still something I’m actively working on. I’m glad I eventually realized that I am meant to evolve, prosper, improve and that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. I now know that there’s nothing to be ashamed about taking the challenge to shine brighter, aim higher and continually transcend your limitations.
So someday I hope to be a living demonstration to my kids that there’s nothing egotistic or bad or shameful about recognizing your own beauty and magnificence, for it is only by recognizing and igniting your own light that you also allow others to see the light in themselves.
5. “My power to accomplish is unlimited!”
My power to accomplish is unlimited and to say otherwise is a downright lie. And yet I still fall into the trap of believing this lie every now and again. Aaahh such is the power of the conditioned mind!
Unconditioning myself is a task I am actively working on right now, so #5 is by far the most valuable thing I can ever drill into my children’s heads. I think Marriane WIlliamson summed it up best:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson
How About YOU?
I’d like to know what your experiences were.
What things were you taught that you had to unlearn?
Would you raise your kids the way your parents raised you?
If you’re already a parent, what challenges are you facing about guiding your kids and how are you dealing with them?
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5 Things About Life That I Wish My Parents Taught Me
Page viewed 2337 times
I feel that as a child I didn’t receive much guidance from my parents about anything, and the other adults in my life who did give me guidance actually just ended up conditioning me to believe things that limited my potential.
Fortunately, these are the very things that showed me what mistakes to avoid someday when I become a parent myself.
Success to me do not pertain to material abundance alone, but rather it is more of a process of growth, or of developing that state of awareness where we have both inner and outer fulfilment – where we are actively pursuing to realize our fullest potentials and become physically healthy, materially blessed, and fulfilled in every way: spiritually, mentally, socially and emotionally.
So here are the things I wish my parents had taught me about life and what it really takes to succeed. I hope that someday my kids will not feel the need to say the same things
1. Who I am has nothing to do with the amount of stuff I accumulate.
For years I believed that the things I acquired utimately defined my worth as a person. Therefore the more I had, the more superior I was over others.
To a sick mind, that sounds pretty logical.
Why do we do this? Why do we allow ourselves to believe that our worth is determined by “things” that come and go, things that eventually perish?
Source: http://www.sxc.hu
Why do we allow ourselves to believe that our essence, our value, our core identity are somehow related to the amount of objects we hoard or the label of clothes we wear or the car we drive or the size of our house?
One of the greatest breakthroughs I’ve had was when I realised that I have intrinsic value; that I am worthy and loveable just as I am, regardless. That the mistakes I make, the labels I’m branded with, the things I buy and wear and drive ultimately have nothing to do with the essence of who I am, and that none of these things make me either inferior or superior compared to everyone else.
2. Let your work be a joyful Service that you offer to the world wholeheartedly, generously and passionately, and you will be rewarded many times over.
I used to think a job is something I had to do in order to earn money to be able to then do the things I really loved. That’s what I allowed myself to believe when I was growing up. In my mind I simply had to be rich by going after the jobs that paid the most. It didn’t occur to me early enough that it was OK to pursue what I liked or to give myself the permission to go after the things that truly made me feel alive.
In my world back then, work was something you hated but you just did it anyway. It didn’t occur to me until several years later that I could choose to experience differently. Soon I realized that trading 40+ hours of my time per week purely for money and doing things I wasn’t really excited about was disempowering, belittling and absolutely insane.
Time is far too precious to waste doing things that kills your Spirit, don’t you think?
I hope that one day I’ll be able to show my kids that the only endeavors worth their time are those things that excite them enough to be their magnificent obsessions, so to speak – and the only way to get richly rewarded for doing these is by doing them in a way that creatively serve the world and enrich other people’s lives.
Source: http://www.sxc.hu
3. “The world needs and desires something that you can uniquely fulfill!”
I am convinced that the greatest inadequacy of most educational systems is that we teach our kids what to think rather than teach them how to think for themselves.
As a child I’d been told to blend in; to blindly follow the majority; to never question authority figures; to be more like so and so; to look, act, speak and feel a specific way about certain things.
I wasn’t taught how to effectively discover answers for myself and I think I could have prevented a lot of heartaches and wasted energy had I figured out how to do this earlier.
I think it’s vital that we learn how to uncover our own uniqueness and strengths, to fully experience and discover who we are, and to be perfectly happy with that.
Still, I feel no regrets because it was actually interesting how I had to figure out what I really liked to do, what my true passions were, what my real desires were, who I really wanted to be, what purpose I chose to fulfil. Anyhow, regardless of how well we’d been brought up, we each have our own path or our own way of learning how to evaluate our choices, make decisions and learn how to live with the consequences of our actions.
It’s important to encourage ourselves to think outside the box and be creative with our choices, because sometimes the highest choice may mean going against the norm. I learned that sometimes it’s best to let go of “shoulds”, “should nots” and “supposed to’s”, and to do away with labels and concepts and just welcome the moment as it is.
I believe that a big part of attaining success is discovering who are, and how we can best utilize our individuality to creatively fulfill a need, solve a problem, and serve the world.
4. There is nothing wrong with striving to be my Best, Brightest, Biggest and Most Magnificent Self. Manifesting my Highest Potentials is what I am meant to do.
When I was a child up until my teens I was scrawny, awkward, and fashionably challenged. I was unattractive to the extent that I felt invisible. In an effort to get noticed, I strove to excel academically. When I hit my teens I committed myself to a diet and fitness program that improved my physique. It was only when I hit my 20′s that people started to notice me.
Suddenly I had everything. I was clever, healthy, fit, beautiful, happy, materially blessed, and popular.
But somehow it felt wrong because everywhere I went and in almost every single place where I worked, there was ALWAYS at least one person who disliked me or secretly undermined me for reasons I never found out.
Somewhere along the way I somehow concluded that I was NOT meant to have everything, that it was wrong to be step up and continually improve yourself because it made others feel bad.
So I shrank back. Come to think of it, it was probably then that my vicious habit of self-sabotage started.
Breaking out of my tendencies to self-sabotage is still something I’m actively working on. I’m glad I eventually realized that I am meant to evolve, prosper, improve and that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. I now know that there’s nothing to be ashamed about taking the challenge to shine brighter, aim higher and continually transcend your limitations.
So someday I hope to be a living demonstration to my kids that there’s nothing egotistic or bad or shameful about recognizing your own beauty and magnificence, for it is only by recognizing and igniting your own light that you also allow others to see the light in themselves.
5. “My power to accomplish is unlimited!”
My power to accomplish is unlimited and to say otherwise is a downright lie. And yet I still fall into the trap of believing this lie every now and again. Aaahh such is the power of the conditioned mind!
Unconditioning myself is a task I am actively working on right now, so #5 is by far the most valuable thing I can ever drill into my children’s heads. I think Marriane WIlliamson summed it up best:
How About YOU?
I’d like to know what your experiences were.
What things were you taught that you had to unlearn?
Would you raise your kids the way your parents raised you?
If you’re already a parent, what challenges are you facing about guiding your kids and how are you dealing with them?
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