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http://www.easisell.com/blog/blog/2009/01/06/lessons-from-the-outliers/ Lessons from the Outliers | I’m a Work in Progress
10 Ways To Have a Successful, Balanced Life
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What is your definition of success?
Living a balanced life is a buzzword these days. Probably because many people find it hard to do, what with the numerous responsibilities and commitments we are trying to juggle all at the same time.
But what does it mean? What does a balanced life look or feel like?
To me, living a balanced life means taking good care of all aspects of my life: my body, mind, emotions, career, finances, relationships, personal growth, and my spirituality – and ensuring that all of them are healthy and functioning at a level I am happy with.
And how about success? To me, there is inner success and outer success, and both are important. How good is it being a multi-millionaire but being told you have a few months left to live? Or being surrounded by loyal friends and loving family but being broke all the time? Or getting to the top of your career but doing something you absolutely hate? The bottom line is that neglecting one area of your life will inevitably affect all the other areas. So take time to set aside enough quality time, attention and energy on each aspect of your life.
One of the best ways to ensure this is the practice of observing rituals – activities that renew, sustain, uplift, recharge, motivate, de-stress, inspire and invigorate you – are essential if you are to succeed inwardly and outwardly. Let me share with you 10 ways to incorporate this in your life:
1. Do something you really really love!
What thrills you? What excites you? What completes you?
What makes you feel alive?
As busy adults, we tend to lose our carefree, lighthearted attitude. We can get stressed out and take life too seriously. When you do something you love, you play. Playing gives us the space to become carefree again – to do something not for any particular goal but purely for fun, for connecting with something deeply fulfilling and meaningful for us.
So let go, and do whatever it is that makes you lose track of time:
2. Treat Yourself
When you work really hard at achieving your goals, rewarding yourself creates a positive reinforcement in your brain. So treat yourself whenever you did something well. Your brain will associate pleasure to being focused on your goals, and this will make you more determined, driven and motivated.
Treating yourself need not break the bank. Go window shopping. Take a long luxurious, indulgent hot bath. Get a full body massage. Cuddlle up with someone you love in front of the fireplace. Unwind in the jacuzzi. Have your favourite raw chocolates; Have a lie in; finish reading that {book} you’ve long been putting off; have a lazy Sunday morning; buy yourself some lovely colourful flowers!
Make this a sacred ritual, a sacred time you set aside for you and you only. Isn’t it amazing to feel so loved and appreciated by you?
3. Detox!
Nurture yourself
We don’t ingest toxins merely through food. The thoughts we think, the emotions we dwell on, the things we believe in, the way we talk to ourselves, the quality and level of energy we exude – all of these either uplift us or drain our energy. Remember too, that each of us has an effect on each other. So when you’re pulling yourself down, you’re also pulling down those around you. Would you rather pull them down, or lift them up?
So at least once every week, strive to clear up and clean up! Throw the trash away, and I don’t just mean literally!
4. Reflect
Stand back, review your Life, and re-evaluate your options. This is a good practice to do weekly because if you have veered off course during the week, you can at least correct yourself and get back on track again.
Review your goals again.
How closer are you to your goals compared to last week?
What else could you try to get there faster and with less effort?
How else could you improve?
If you’re not making any progress, now is the time to correct any mistakes you have made. There will be times when you will slip up. The key here is knowing how to handle your mistakes in a way that moves you forward (Nope, beating yourself up and calling yourself names is not one of them!). Engaging in negative self-talk robs you of self-esteem and self-respect. Learn how to forgive yourself- let go of the past, learn from your mistakes, take full responsibility over the consequences of your choices, and then simply move on.
5. Do or Learn Something New
Research have shown that one very effective way to enhance our memory retention and creativity is to do something new, or to do something differently to the way we are used to doing it. So do something out of character! Go to a restaurant you’ve never been to before and order a dish you haven’t tried before. Give someone a hug. Or two. Smile at everyone you meet. Give a tip more generous than usual. Enroll on a course you know absolutely nothing about. Take a the scenic route instead of the quickest one. Sport a different style instead of your usual outfits.
It’s about widening our perspectives. We experience the world through our social, cultural, psychological, and historical filters. So if you really think about it, we see the world in a very limited way, which in turn limits our experience as a whole. Most of us take an either-or stance when sometimes we really could easily benefit from daring to “have it all”.
Try this exercise: Pick a subject (e.g., an argument you keep having with a loved one, something you’ve read about in the news that you felt strongly about), and then take the opposite stance instead of your usual one. See it from a specific person’s (e.g., your spouse’s, your son’s, your neighbour’s) point of view as you understand it to be. Really get into it and see how your mind shifts. See if you could develop a deeper compassion and understanding towards a person whose view is completely different to your own, and observe how your experience expand!
Most of the time it’s not a matter of right or wrong, but simply a matter of perspective. Life abounds with new possibilities, waiting for you to discover them.
6. Take More Risks
Are you normally shy? Join your local Toastmasters.
Are you normally petrified in social settings? Try cracking some jokes more often.
Do you suck at flirting? Build your confidence by sitting in a busy cafe and talking to random people. When you get more comfortable chat up someone you find attractive!
Are you super athletic but totally ignorant about art or history? Go to the Museum!
Try it, it’s fun!
When we regularly take more risks, we get out of our comfort zones – and when we get out of our comfort zones, we grow up. We expand. The unknown becomes something we are used to. Fear then ceases to hold us back. We simply fly, free and boundless, expansive and unlimited – just like how we are meant to be.
7. Set your Goals for the Week
Setting your weekly goals and your corresponding action plan for the coming week will keep you focused on the most relevant things right now. Most of the time we don’t accomplish anything we are really proud of simply because we haven’t taken the time to stop and plan our life’s direction.
When you set your weekly goals, chunk them down to manageable loads. Distribute the load evenly to the 7 days of the week, at least one task for one day.
8. Contribute
Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where there’s nothing else we could do but weather it through with our sanity and self-dignity intact. One of the best ways to take your mind off your personal problems is focusing on making others feel better instead.
Try volunteering at a local event or charity.
Attend to other’s needs.
Be of service. Even if it just means taking a moment to listen to someone without judging them.
Handwrite a letter to someone about the things you love about them.
Surprise someone! My boyfriend Clément has this habit of buying me flowers just because he feels like it. Sometimes I would find notes tucked in my car’s windscreen wipers (he’d make it look like parking tickets – cheeky!) saying sweet nothings.
9. Get Inspired!
Things wear us down and sometimes it’s just so damn hard to muster enough energy and positivity from within yourself. Get inspired by using an arsenal of tools that really get you all fired up and motivated again.
10. Spend Time with Loved Ones
Of course, this almost goes without saying. Spending time with our loved ones is one of the most fulfilling things in the world. But even this thing alone can be a challenge. Many of us tend to lose touch with many people we deeply care about. I should know – I’m so guilty of this!
So go on – catch up with the lads or with your girl friends, do something that makes you connect with them.
Hang out with your kids.
Have a long luxurious dinner (or lunch) with your family.
Organize a potluck party and invite everybody who mean so much to you.
Start writing that long overdue email. Go on and make some phone calls. Send a few hello’s, even via text messages. Send a smile or a virtual hug.
To conclude, let me ask you a few questions: if you ever get lucky enough to know when you’re going to die, do you think you’ll be thinking about the material things you have accumulated or the awards you have won? Or are you going to think about the people you care about and the love you have given and the love you have been so lucky to have received?
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